The human organism is a battleground. On one side: your genes. On the other: your conscious self. “The ultimate rationale of any gene is replication,” wrote Dawkins (1976), and it doesn't care whether the vessel it rides—your body—suffers or thrives. All that matters is propagation.
Genes push humans toward reproduction through primal forces: sexual desire and parental love. But once self-cognition enters the scene, priorities shift. The conscious self may conclude that reproduction is not in its best interest—especially if it comes at the cost of personal happiness or survival.
Women, in particular, face acute internal conflict. For thousands of years, natural selection favored women who chose mates carefully and invested heavily in offspring. But female sexual desire is no less potent than that of men. “Women are just as aroused by sexual variety,” as shown in functional MRI studies (Chivers et al., 2004). The difference is behavioral inhibition, not inherent disinterest.
Men, on the other hand, enjoy a genetic alignment between self-interest and gene interest. Male genes benefit from quantity—more partners, more offspring. A man who pursues optimal sexual pleasure also serves his genome’s agenda. As Symons (1979) put it, “men are more likely than women to seek novelty in sexual partners.”
This doesn't mean women lack libido. Quite the opposite. But their genetic blueprint has historically favored restraint—until the child-rearing phase ends. After that, sexual desire resurfaces, and not necessarily aimed at a single, faithful partner.
In modernity, with contraception and legal autonomy, the self finally rebels against its genetic programming. Why live solely to reproduce? Why endure decades of parental self-sacrifice? From a self-aware perspective, life may be better spent in pleasure than in propagation.
The self wants agency. It wants freedom from biology’s leash. A “life of optimal sex, followed by a gentle death,” may not be a poetic metaphor, but a rational, self-cognizant ideology. Not suicidal. Not nihilistic. Simply aware that one does not owe their genes a lifetime of servitude.
Between biology and consciousness, peace is rarely found. But in recognizing the conflict, we become free to choose our side.
Chivers, M. L., Rieger, G., Latty, E., & Bailey, J. M. (2004). A sex difference in the specificity of sexual arousal. Psychological Science, 15(11), 736–744. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.0956-7976.2004.00750.x
Dawkins, R. (1976). The Selfish Gene. Oxford University Press.
Joiner, T. (2005). Why People Die by Suicide. Harvard University Press.
Symons, D. (1979). The Evolution of Human Sexuality. Oxford University Press.
Trivers, R. L. (1972). Parental investment and sexual selection. In B. Campbell (Ed.), Sexual Selection and the Descent of Man (pp. 136–179). Aldine Publishing.